Ouch my heart hurts _ part 6

Trusting when you've been rejected by someone you trusted is HARD. Why should you trust right? Your head tells you to put these massive walls up everywhere and out of fear you take full control of every feeling and emotion. It's hard to trust God...especially when you don't know Him. If you are having a hard time trusting God - the first thing you should do is get to know Him. What does He think of you? What did He do for you? What does He love? What does He not love? Pursue Him. Ask Him questions - read books that will tell you how to read His love letter to you - and UNDERSTAND IT! Believe me - you will fall in love and be able to trust again.

Easier said than done though - I can't say that I FULLY know God because I'm always learning more! But I know enough that He can be trusted. However, I have been struggling lately with "touch". Lately I've been hurting so bad I've wanted to be held. At one point I cried and yelled at Him in a dramatic freak out moment for not being able to hug me. He can part the red sea, he can heal the sick, he can soften the hardest of hearts, BUT he can't hug me? I have never felt so alone. (pity party) 

But it's not true - His presence is stronger than any "touch" or hug. Literally the more I spend time with Him the more I feel like I'm constantly being hugged in his presence. It's a hug that not ANYONE could compare or replace. 

You need to understand that Satan is out to destroy you. When your hurt and knocked down - He calls in reinforcements because He wants to attack at your weakest moments. I can see his pathetic attempts at attacking me from every angle lately. My heart, my appearance, my purpose, my body, my health, and my dreams. It was SO obvious. When I FINALLY realized this and stopped wallowing in self-pity I have been able to rise up and realize...this is just the devil. This is not truth!

This is truth...if you are struggling confess these things over yourself - even if you don't believe it - you will begin to! 

- I am daughter of the most HIGH!

- I am treasure to this Earth

- I am uniquely and wonderfully made

- I am beautiful

- I am pure 

- I am forgiven

- I am healed and whole

- Everything I put my hands to WILL prosper

- I am a girl after God's heart

- I am His favorite

- I hear Him and do what He asks

- I am confident in who I am

Don't feel dumb saying this over yourself. I felt so pathetic, I literally was waking up in the middle of the night sobbing about how much I hated myself, my life, and everything. I finally had to get up and look at myself in the mirror (not a pretty picture) and say these things to myself over and over again until these feelings BROKE. Continue to speak this over yourself even when you feel and look like a psycho. 

GO TO THE MIRROR - and speak the REAL TRUTH! The truth you discover in the Word!