Ouch My Heart Hearts_invitation to the pity party

Yep, this one hurts the worst. Deep deep in side my heart their is a sting that keeps getting worse and I can't stop the pain. I'm to old for this. I loved him but I never told him. He was my best friend. He turned on me. Completely. She has been in my life forever. I was in her wedding. I was there when she got a divorce. Apparently they are "extremely close". I asked her. She said yes. He said he didn't know. He didn't say "no". My world just got flipped. I thought I'd be engaged by next summer. My hair is red. I feel like I can't cope. He sleeps soundly. I'm wide awake. I should've listened. I should've...I should've...I should've...won't get out of my head. How could he...how could he...how could he. These battles wont cease. I confronted her. She called him. She confided in him. He defended her. He has fallen in. I'm done and I won't go back. You reap what you sow you coward and you ___. Yeah I just went there. Forgiveness will come. I'll be blown away by the guy God has for me. I'll laugh at these tears that flow. The bitterness will go and peace will come in. I'll be fine because God holds my hand. We've been through this before - He knows the drill. I have a pity party and then I'm done and look to Him. Welcome to the pity party - I hope it's been fun. It wont last long - I'm almost done...